I like the sound of my own writing fail

So, you like to write a lot, don't you Mr. Appraiser...

Submit to Real Estate Appraisal Fail Blog

Got a funny or confusing real estate related item that you think should be on our blog? The funnier the better. Email to appraiserfail@gmail.com and include your contact information. One important guideline- don't include pictures that would easily identify people or specific places- so no faces, no business names, no license numbers, no phone numbers, no full addresses, etc. If any of these items are included, we may still be able to post them, but we'd have to take care of a few things to make it copacetic.

Fresh Air Fail

I guess technically it is fresh air...

Upgrade Fail

Nice Door...

Everything Fail

Talk about failure on multiple levels. 
1. Don't use analogies in your appraisal that might not ring true to those who aren't car enthusiasts. 
2. Don't mispell "analogy". 
3. A 1959 Mustang?  What does that look like?

BPO Fail

No, it's not an appraisal, but some people think they are.  Here's another high quality BPO

Another Front and Rear Photo Fail

You're supposed to take photos of the front and back of the house- and it also emphasizes that you were actually there...  on one day...

Cooling Fail

Maybe there's no central air... maybe there's no radiant heat... maybe there's no wall ac, but I think by this definition, we all have natural cooling...

Planning Ahead Fail

They couldn't finish the first word before they ran out of room. Further emphasis that they were bad at planning their future

Why we need the UAD

The new Universal Appraisal Dataset is coming soon. Want to know why? Entries like this... unless Southern California has its own local jargon

Slight Misunderstanding Fail

so it's "only" a 9% shift in value over 6 months- which annualizes out to 18%... that's not a decline?

Water Leak Fail

Overzealous BPO Fail

When doing a BPO or REO appraisal you're supposed to note all the things wrong with the home. This might be a little excessive

Spelling Fale

C'mon, you can do better than this...

Understatement Fail

There might be something else going on besides the missing shower head

Bathtub/Closet/Photo Description Fail

I'm not sure if this is

• bad photo labeling
• bad placement of a bathtub
• an electrical hazard
• poor taste in color
• all of the above.

Front and Rear Photo Fail

We all work at different speeds, but if it takes you six months to move from the front of the house to the back of the house, you're not really efficient

Objective Narrative Fail

I'm not sure what is worse- describing the home like a Mark Twain novel- or considering this an "additional feature"

Confusing Narrative Fail

So which is it?

Reliability Fail

People complain that appraisers are overpaid and don't do a good job. That opinion is usually not deserved. In this case, it's deserved. "Thanks for paying me. Here's your appraisal that is worthless"

Sketchy Situation Fail

We all have stories of scary appraisals. But most of us don't include the narrative of that in the actual appraisal.

Reiteration Fail

underwriter: "um... we need you to provide another sale"

Kitchen Fail

Well, at least there's a microwave oven... oh wait, that's not a micro.  But there's plenty of counter space... oh wait, that's not a counter.

Proximity Fail

But these sales are all right next to the subject... Never mind the arrows... or the county line...

Street Name Fail

Sale 2 is on “Charred Cat Circle”
Sale 3 is on “Roadkill Deer Drive”
Sale 4 is on “Drowned Rat Road”

English Fail

I think I kind of know what you're talking about... no... actually I have no clue

Construction Fail

OK. This might be more of an issue of funny construction, but it was too cool to pass up. Is it a treehouse or a house tree?

Just Plain Lazy Fail

Neighborhood boundaries are supposed to be actual boundaries- whether they are streets, rivers, county lines, or even saying "Austin city limits".

Door to Door Vendor Fail

"Hello sir, I noticed that your curb address is faded. I'm putting myself through college and will paint your address attractively for you for only $10."

Marketability Fail

Some homes have marketability issues- perhaps mold, or it backs power lines, maybe someone was murdered there... or here's a unique reason.

My Name is Inigo Montoya

Vizzini: He didn't fall? Inconceivable!
Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means

Not sure what you mean Fail

Usually you can figure out what the appraiser meant to say... But not when they bring vegetables into their description

Waterfront... and waterside... and waterback...

Somtimes the mapping software is a little bit off the mark

Racist Countertops?

If you've got Kimchi on your countertops, I'm pretty sure it's not something you mention in an appraisal. What's next, we can't say Mexican Tile?
 

Loudness Fail

There's nothing wrong with a little color... And those aren't shadows

Guard Dog Fail

Not sure what is being guarded here...

Fundamentals Fail

C'mon. Is this really the best you can do?

I Do Not Like Green Eggs and Ham!

Way to cover all the bases

Submit to the Real Estate Fail Blog

Got a funny or confusing real estate related item that you think should be on our blog? The funnier the better. Email to appraiserfail@gmail.com and include your contact information. One important guideline- don't include pictures that would easily identify people or specific places- so no faces, no business names, no license numbers, no phone numbers, no full addresses, etc. If any of these items are included, we may still be able to post them, but we'd have to take care of a few things to make it copacetic.

Flooring Fail

Nothing says classy shower more than plush carpeting

Escher Fail

I think I know what he's saying, but then again, I have no idea

Color Choice Fail

Hey, don't judge- this can be considered tasteful... Do you realized that there's a dishwasher in thsi kitchen?

Analysis Fail

 Hey Mr. Reviewer, way to go the extra mile for the analysis

Lot Description Fail

When you describe the subject lot as "poor", that's your first problem. But then when you compare it to a lot that is an acre, then it gets confusing. That's like saying "My car is worth more than your good"

Stick with the Facts Fail

 When appraising a home, try to limit your report to material information about the actual home and property without judging... BTW, this is not considered a pool

 

 

Real Estate Fail Blog Guidelines

We hope to enlighten the world without specifically highlighting specific "professionals" or properties. When submitting photos, please redact any MLS numbers, names, phone numbers, complete addresses or otherwise identifiable information.

Bathroom Fail

Sure we call it the throne room, but this is ridiculous

Sad State of Foreclosure... and Mental Illness

I still remember the first clearly and sadly foreclosed home I appraised. It had toys and food and mementos still lying around. I soon started calling them "Rapture Homes" as in some cases some pretty substantial stuff was left behind. Of course there's also the angry people who destroy the home when they leave. But some people need to leave a more descriptive mark. It's a little hard to read by some of the quotes include "This room belonged to a very deranged person. Enter slowly with great care", "PS, I killed the last occupant of this room!", "And they kick you out of your house!"

Respect My Authority!

Appraisal analysis should be based on facts- The size of the property, the recent comparable sales, the trend of property values, amenities, etc. You may be "the man", but actually saying that in your appraisal doesn't make you an authority. Charlie Rangel has been in Congress for 40 years- that doesn't make him perfect.

The Reason for Comp Photos

Lenders want to know if a comparable sale is similar to the subject. That's why you're supposed to drive by the sales you consider and take a photo of them. Sometimes appraisers take the photo from MLS and use it- that's a no-no, but pretty easy to get away with. Some variations are a little harder to pass muster...